I miss those days when I was an innocent little good boy. My standards were high, it was all about what God says, what mum said and what the teacher told us. I can say with confidence that I was pure. To me it made no sense to be rebellious or question what I’m told to do because I believed in good intentions of those who were older than me, little did I know.
As I was growing up so was my curiosity, I asked myself a million questions, I wanted to know more about God, I asked about food, how education had no limit, and a lot of stuff. At this stage I realized that not every question had an answer or some questions needed to be asked to people I could not have access to. This was so important stage of my life because I realized I could not depend on those around me alone, I needed to do more.
Now the bad thing about being self aware at the young age is that those around you raise their expectations. I was never told to do my homework or go study because they trusted me and my performance was not betraying their trust. This all was OK with me until I started to feel like people are forgetting that I’m only human. You can do no wrong, everybody else is expected to do mistakes but not you.
Growing up in those condition make you more conscious on what you do even when nobody is watching or when you are in a group with standards comparatively lower than what you are used to. It becomes even harder when you have to associate with people who have no morals, you become an enemy and if you are not strong enough you can easily compromise your values.
I know I’m not perfect, maybe I have broken a few hearts and laws but I know that the bad guy status is not for me because I’m bad at being bad!